As an early riser, I’ve developed some fairly consistent morning routines. These daily rhythms involve prayer, bible reading, and reflection…oh, and coffee–lots of coffee. As the sun comes up, I open the blinds so I can observe the squirrels as they frolic along my back fence and watch the birds enjoying their morning snack from the feeder near my living room window. When I first took up bird watching, I had to fight with the squirrels, who emptied the feeder without giving the winged creatures a chance for even a single seed. It was as if they didn’t realize that the ground was littered with fallen pecans just waiting to be consumed. They had more than they needed, but still they took what was never intended for them. Although it took some patience and creativity, I eventually found a spot, nestled in my bushes and undetected by the furry critters.
With some trial and error, I finally found the type of seed that draws birds of all sizes, shapes, and colors. Once the first few birds discovered that there was treasure in the backyard of 406 Prestonwood Drive, I’m fairly certain they went off and told all their friends. So now I’m the audience of a pretty amazing bird show nearly every single morning–rain or shine. As a student of these birds and their behaviors, I’ve learned a profound lesson that pertains to us humans as well. THEY ARE FIERCE COMPETITORS EVEN THOUGH THERE’S PLENTY FOR THEM ALL.
The larger birds fly in with a vengeance, forcing the smaller birds to flee in haste or be squashed. The smaller birds fight with each other, stealing seed straight from the beak of a brother or sister, all while the feeder is filled to the brim. There’s an abundance of seed so that every bird can be fully satisfied , and even when the feeder gets low, there is another bag of seed in the pantry. But the birds have not yet learned this, and so they fight to get their fair share. They engage in competition that is not only unnecessary, but also unwholesome and unhealthy.
Similarly, human competition often grows out of a “scarcity” mentality–believing that there are limited resources so I must be bigger and fly faster to get to the feeder ahead of all the others. But competition is also, at its very core, the result of pride. C.S. Lewis says that pride doesn’t find pleasure in simply having or achieving something, but only in having or achieving MORE than someone else.* Ouch! That hits many of us where it hurts–because it is painfully true.
I may feel really good about my parenting until I see that facebook post of the senior scrapbook and realize we haven’t even taken senior pictures yet (of course, it is the Pandemic year, and for that, I cut myself some slack). But truth be told, even if we had taken the pictures, they would probably be lost in an obscure file somewhere on my computer, never to be found until someone is tasked with preparing the slide show for my funeral. Suddenly, without warning, I’m a loser mom…and I need to find some way to “one up” Scrapbook Sally so I can regain my “good parent” status, or more accurately, my “best parent” status. After all, only one of us can be the “best,” and I’m fairly certain it needs to be me. That’s the poison of pride wreaking havoc in my soul–enslaving me to the contest when there’s plenty of seed in the pantry for all of us.
The battleground may be in the workplace or the social circle; it may be centered in relationships or achievements; it might be about appearance or possessions. But, for those of us hard-wired for competition, every day presents a new opponent, and the pressure to “win” steals from us the pleasure of perching on the fence, watching the other birds enjoy mealtime–knowing there’s enough to go around.
Once I recognized my competitive streak for what it really was, I determined to annihilate it–whatever the cost. There is simply no “win” that is worth the loss of peace and joy for those of us constantly fighting for first place. [And by the way, very few people can secure first place in everything…and those who do can never rest, lest someone sneak in and steal their spot]. This decimation, however, proved more difficult than I ever imagined, as pride is a formidable foe that doesn’t go down without a fight.
Recently, it occurred to me that perhaps I was fighting the wrong battle. Maybe my competitive streak isn’t meant for obliteration, but for redirection. Is it possible that there actually IS a win that is worth the cost of going to battle…every single day? In that moment, God brought to my mind the biblical teaching about the spiritual skirmish waged between believers and our arch-rival, the devil. He is a defeated foe, but seeks every opportunity to win small victories that steal both our joy and effectiveness as disciples of Christ. Could it be that my fierce love of contest is for the purpose of spiritual and not physical victory–a win against Satan and not Scrapbook Sally?
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood…but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12
*from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis